October 2, 2008

Sick day.

My boy has bronchitis. So we are going to spend the day resting. It feels really good to have him at home even though he is not feeling his best. I could probably have sent him off to school today, but truth be told I think we all needed a stay at home day. This year, so far, and we are only a month and a half in, has proven to be difficult for both of my kids. With my 2nd grader we went from a very supportive 1st grade class where the teacher really took him under her wing to a 2nd grade class where he is expected to just fly on his own. My little bird needs help to fly. We are as supportive as we can be at home but the notes we are getting from class are really dragging us down. I expected more support from teachers. I would expect that 15 plus years of experience would have yielded more technique or sage advice for motivating a 7 year old. Every thing I've read online suggests that people are medicating their young children to "pay attention". It horrifies me. Do so many kids really have ADD? I am thinking that as adults we have forgotten how it is to be a child. To have an imagination. To want to play with friends rather that sit quietly and listen to what the adult wants us to hear. Truthfully, I'm board for him. As hard as they try, school has turned into nothing but tests. How to help? What to do? Sadly our budget doesn't allow for school outside the public realm and home schooling doesn't seem right for us either. I hate the thought of him being squashed. Tears shouldn't follow school. They rarely did for me. What has changed? Why so much so soon? We need a rest and we are taking it, at least for today.


Anne Hartman said...

I understand how you feel - we had the same experience with my daughter in 3rd grade. All her teacher ever did was hand out worksheets - about 40 a week. And if one line was blank, she would send them home as "incomplete." I teach college and we are not that strict! She could never say anything positive about our daughter, and our daughter also cried frequently and hated school. When my daughter gave her a gift at the "holiday party" the teacher wrote "thanks for the last-minute gift. I certainly wouldn't have expected anything earlier from you!" I didn't want her to start hating school, especially so young, so we did pull her out mid-year and I home-schooled her. This year she is in a private school, and they have nothing but positive things to say, and she loves school again! I know it may seem like there are no other good options, but I encourage you to look into transferring to a different public school, or consider private or homeschooling. I've done all 3, and if you would like to chat more, I'd love to talk with you. Your instincts are right - this isn't good for your son. Oh, and the school my daughter hated - they are pressuring every child we know who is still there to start ADHD meds. Some kids really do need them, but frequently they are over-used because some teachers don't want to deal with normal, healthy, active children. I wish you the best dealing with this!

Gaea said...

That makes me so sad. What a horrible thing to say to a child. I tend to trust that a teacher of all people would have our child's best interest at heart. But there are all sorts of people out there. I really appreciate your sharing your experience with your daughter and how wonderful she is enjoying school. We've thought about moving him. There are 4 schools we could go to and opted to have him at one that was out of our area because the test scores were higher. Now I'm thinking that the other school maybe doesn't push as hard and worry about the test scores.... Thanks!

rosepostcards said...

Good luck with this. My son's 2nd grade teacher did the same thing with him. He was bored. He didn't have ADD. He was and still is and intensely curious child and wanted to know how things worked. His teacher did not know how to handle boys. It was awful for him and us. If possible, you may want to volunteer as a room mom. That lets the teacher know you are there and may help to improve her relationship with your son. You don't have to be there every day.

As to homework, 2nd grade was the worst. I felt like I went back to school. This was one of the hardest experiences for us. But, get involved with his class. Some people really aren't good teachers for elementary teachers or good teachers for boys.

Good luck.

Chris said...

The teacher makes all the difference. We went through a similar experience with my son in first grade. Every single day when I would pick him up from school, she would have a negative comment. We lucked into an absolutely wonderful teacher for second grade. My son really blossomed and had a great year. For third grade, I checked into the teachers and who would be a good fit for my son and then requested that teacher. He's having another great year and looks forward to going to school each day.

Good luck!

Gaea said...

Thanks for the kind and supportive words. I really needed them!